Worst customer service email ever?

Readers –

I think a side benefit of writing a service and support blog is having a platform to hold really poor service up for ridicule…right?  We’ll get right back to serious topics next week, but in the meantime, let me share the worst customer service email I’ve ever gotten.  (At some personal risk, as you’ll see below.)

Quick background:  I had a poor experience at EZ Rent-a-Car at LAX this week.  I received a survey link, which I dutifully filled out.  The survey also had an email address for customer service; I contacted them.  (Remember:  a complaint is a gift, right?)  Here’s the only response I’ve received, which I’m reproducing here verbatim, except for removing the survey links.  My comments are in italics.

Dear DAVID KAY,

This is the best part of the email–they got my name right, although it was in all caps.  It’s all downhill from here.

Thank you again for choosing E-Z Rent-A-Car, The Best Value in Car Rental, for your car rental needs.

In fact, I think this is the first time they’ve thanked me, so they’re not really thanking me again.  And if they looked at my survey, they may find that describing themselves as the “Best Value in Car Rental” may be inappropriate from my perspective.

br />We sincerely appreciate that you have taken the time previously to complete our online survey. If you wish, you may complete the survey again by clicking on the link below.

Nothing says “a focus on quality” quite like random bits of HTML tags in an email.  And why do they want me to take the survey again?  Is this their way of telling me they deleted my first response? Am I supposed to take it until I provide answers they like?  Or does someone have a response rate goal they’re not meeting, and duplicate surveys will help their numbers?

CLICK HERE TO TAKE THE SURVEY

All caps again.  Stop yelling.

If the above link does not work, copy and paste the following line into your browser’s address bar:

http://www.e-zrentacar.com/survey.asp?survey_id=(uniqueIDDeleted)

Sincerely,

Customer Care Department

E-Z Rent-A-Car

The information in this email is confidential and may be legally privileged. It is intended solely for the addressee. Access to this email by anyone else is unauthorized. If you are not the intended recipient, any disclosure, copying, distribution or any action taken or omitted to be taken in reliance on it, is prohibited and may be unlawful.

OK.  You send me a form letter telling me I can (re)take a survey, and now you’re threatening me with legal action if I tell people about it?  Um, as I am in this blog?  I can’t wait for the cease and desist…I’ll be sure to post that, too.  Remember, I didn’t ask for this email, so don’t start telling me what I can and can’t do with it.

The contents of this email do not necessarily represent the views or policies of E-Z Rent-A-Car or employees.

They close with my favorite line.  It’s an official customer service email, including legal threat, that doesn’t reflect their views or policies, either as individuals or as a company.

I am completely bumfuzzled as to what these people were thinking.  Am I right: is this the worst customer service email ever, or do you have an even worse one?  Please share in the comments.

Back to KM next week,

David